This is a story about a high school boy (me, duh) and a high school girl. To protect the innocent (and she is), let's just call her "Betty".
I was a sophomore at Bossier High School in 1987 and I had met Betty at a high school football game. She was a bubbly, friendly, very attractive blonde with a great laugh and a fantastic smile. Betty went to Northwood High School in Shreveport and I looked for any opportunity to see her at a game, or church, or any other school function. She was worth a drive across town for me.
See, that's where the problems started. I was 16 years old. I couldn't just go see her whenever I wanted, and that was pretty frustrating. I hadn't been driving very long, and my curfew and house rules kept Betty and I apart.
What was I to do? Keeping a "long distance relationship" is tough. This was probably only 20 miles away, but it may as well have been a thousand miles.
I didn't want to waste her time or mine any longer. Even though I adored her, I made a decision. The next time I talked to her, I would break it off. I decided to start thinking of what I would say.
I didn't have time to formulate a plan, since the phone just so happened to ring for me at that moment. Of course, it was indeed Betty.
She was not her usual effervescent self, however. I heard, "Hi, we need to talk."
Whoa, is she opting out on me? ON ME!?
Betty continued. "I think we need to break up."
I responded the only way that seemed right at the time. We both want the same thing, right? I said, "I agree, this is just too hard on us with school and responsibilities and stuff". "Have a great year, bye!" And I hung up and moved on with my sophomore year.
Flash-forward to 1993 and it's my first year of college at beautiful Louisiana Tech University. I'm walking across the quad area by the food court on a sunny spring day when I see an attractive brunette giving me the most evil eye I have ever seen and hope to never see again.
I have to find out who this is that despises me so much.
I went up to her and asked if I knew her from somewhere (I was such a playah) and she said I ought to. She said her name was Jughead (not her real name) and that she was Betty's friend from Northwood High School. I went, "Oh yeah, Betty! How's she doing anyway?"
I should have never said this.
Jughead told me that after I dumped Betty, she was devastated. She cried for weeks and it pretty much ruined her sophomore year of high school. Jughead told me what a horrible jerk I am and how cold I was to not even know what I did to her.
I said, "Wait, she called to dump me on the phone!" "I remember her doing that!" "It was a mutual break!"
Jughead said, "You moron, she was just kidding with you!" "How dense are you?" "Don't you own a calendar?"
"Betty was crazy about you. She was calling you on April Fool's Day!" It was a prank phone call!"
My bad. Betty, wherever you are, I am so sorry. I even have a calendar on my phone now.
Signed,
Unintentional Jerk
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